When a parent makes the brave decision to enroll in a treatment program to deal with their substance use disorder, they may not have an idea about how to tell their kids. Although this conversation may be an uneasy one, your kids deserve an honest explanation about where you are going.
There are certain things to keep in mind when you explain to your children where you are going. Mostly, you want them to feel safe and secure, and that despite your absence. their needs will be met. How do you even start that conversation? Start with the importance of your recovery journey.
Should you discuss addiction treatment with children?
Before heading off for an extended length of time in substance rehabilitation, you will need to provide your children with an explanation for your absence. How much you reveal to them in this conversation should be based on their age and maturity level. If you have a young child, you do not need to provide many details, just the broad strokes.
There is no need to go into the details of substance use with a small child. Just explain to them that you have been sick and need to go for treatment to get better and reinforce the idea that you want to be a healthy parent for them. The most important aspect of this conversation is that you’re letting your child know that they will be cared for while you’re away.
If your child is older, such as a young teen, you can be more detailed ahead about your substance use disorder. Chances are, an older child will not be at all surprised that you have a substance problem. They are old enough to be aware of your behavior and symptoms while under the influence. In most cases, the older child will be relieved to hear that you are getting the help you need.
How to discuss a parent’s addiction treatment with the kids
When letting your children know you’re going in for treatment, there are some best practices to consider. These include:
- Assure them their needs will be met: Kids of any age will no doubt feel some anxiety about their parent leaving for an extended time. This stress is attributed to a deep fear that they will not have their everyday needs met. Let your children know that they will be well cared for in your absence. Be specific and tell them who will be looking after them, who will be picking them up after school and who will be getting them to sports and other activities. Make sure it’s someone they know, trust and feel comfortable with.
- Give age-appropriate information: Based on their age, kids will have varying abilities to comprehend and process what you tell them. A three-year-old needs only to be told that you love them and you will be coming back soon, and that grandma will be staying with them and helping out.When talking to a teenager, however, you can provide more information. Let them know that your odd behavior has been a result of substance use, which developed into an addiction. Let them know that your doctor has recommended that you receive treatment, and about how long you will be away. The teen should be reassured that you are committed to sobriety and getting healthy.
- Explain what treatment entails: Again, a young child only needs to know that their parent is going away to get healthy, and that doctors will take good care of you. An older child will feel less anxious if they have some idea of what the treatment program is like. Go ahead and talk to them about how you will spend your days in treatment, like going to therapy sessions, getting healthy meals and exercising. They may want to view photos of the treatment center to have a visual reference point.
Once you explain to your children about getting treatment, you will feel a great weight lifted off your shoulders. You can now focus on achieving sobriety and looking forward to the fulfilling life that lies ahead.
Ashley Addiction Treatment, formerly Father Martin’s Ashley, is a nationally recognized nonprofit leader in integrated, evidence-based treatment for substance use disorders. Our programs are accredited by The Joint Commission, and result in frequent publications of ongoing research into effective treatment methodologies. We offer holistic care that encompasses the mind, body and spirit through inpatient and outpatient treatment, provide drug detox, relapse prevention plans, family wellness programs and a variety of other services tailored to each patient’s unique needs. Our driving principle — “everything for recovery” — reinforces our mission to transform and save lives through the science of medicine, the art of therapy and the compassion of spirituality, and is complemented by our philosophy of healing with respect and dignity. For information about our comprehensive programs, please call 866-313-6307.
